Manuniverse Manchester United Weblog

You can also have fun with our archive material;

Mega Rant: Wanking Is Worse Than Speeding Yes it is true. In what way? Well...according to the TV half hour I watched tonight (I was taking a break from the 'laptop' which apparently is slang within the police force for small PCs...get it?) I saw the police give out an £80 fixed penalty fine to a taxi driver for having a wank in an almost empty car park, whilst reading an adult magazine. As an aside, how did they know? Well, through a close by CCTV camera. (I was annoyed that they blurred out any interesting bits - no pun intended!). When will the 'Powers that be' start installing audio devices in public places? Getting to the point (again no pun intended), folk are usually fined £60 for speeding, by doing 40 mph in a 30 mph zone at 3 am when no-one is around. Not only that, last night , as I was taking another break, I was watching a TV slot about all the sheep in the UK getting drunk near Christmas time. I saw a yobbo arrested for launching an attack on a policeman. At the end they said he been found guilty of xyz and fined £50. Not only that, having listened to ex teachers on the radio today it seem that school animals children can assault teachers and damage their cars without any punishment whatsoever. Therefore the only conclusion I can come to (no pun intended) is that wanking is taken more seriously by the authorities than speeding or assaulting a figure of authority. This gives a different meaning to ....'Being pulled over by the police', 'You were going too fast!', 'Please blow into this' or 'Anything you say will be taken down'. Law and justice in this country should not be mentioned in the same breath. They are poles apart. ( A tall straight object...not a person from Poland...just in case the thought police get interested in potentially racist coments.) By the way, the taxi driver in the incident above was an Asian. No point to make, just a fact. In the commentary he said that he was frightened about having police officers coming around to his house. Asked why, he said that his 'family' would kill him if they found out. Now that is worrying. And that shows why religion is at the root of all evil........isn't that ironic! I reckon the big religious (and political) folk are actually Aliens or Reptiles (just like the Royal Family) and the whole thing is just a con. Either way I don't give a shit, because I can see through it all and don't take any notice from them or their sheep followers. Yours Lucidly (I nearly typed Luciferedly then!). I'm going to rest now. Weblog Wednesday 28th July 2004 PS: On a less serious point, here are a few tips about getting a taxi cab... 1) Don't go near the cab if you can see it moving, when its supposed to be still. 2) Don't get in the cab if the driver is reading a magazine. 3) If you see a magazine near him and you do get the cab, don't shake hands with him. 3) When he asks for the fare, throw it at him and don't ask for change. 4) If at anytime during the journey he asks you to give him a hand...don't. 5) If he is lost and says that he doesn't know where he is coming from...don't believe him. 6) Big tip saved till last: if the drivers area looks as if a flock of pigeons have been flying around...don't get in...its not pigeons. Its another bird pest! [Webmaster comments & rants about Manchester United or anything else]

Same Old Story Mr Ferguson seems to be determined to wreck the season for United before it has started. It was in the papers so it must be true. He's said that 'I will give my players individual breaks during the season. In December some players will get two or three weeks off. This attitude, meaning in effect playing a weakened team, caused a poor run last season which cost United any chance of the title. Play them till they drop...poor bastards. Weblog Monday 26th July 2004 [Webmaster comments & rants about Manchester United or anything else]

More Raw Meat Now that poor old Ole Gunnar Solsjkaer has suffered a setback on his road to recovery, it makes more sense now to get Wayne Rooney. Imagine this lot as a defensive and attacking midfield group to choose from......Paul Scholes, Phil Neville, Alan Smith, Wayne Rooney, Roy Keane. Wouldn't be dull would it? Weblog Saturday 24th July 2004 [Webmaster comments & rants about Manchester United or anything else]

Chink In The Defence Manchester United is set to launch a soccer school in Hong Kong, its first in Asia, to train children at around HK$5,000 per head for 20 weekly lessons. No doubt, in future years, we may hear comedians in the crowd talking about United still having a chink in the defence. PC? Whats that? While I'm on....... ---- Person 1: My dog's got a cold. Person 2: How does it smell? Person 1: Bleeding awful! ----- Person 1:My girlfriend is trying to smuggle a skunk through customs by sticking it down her knickers? Person 2:What about the smell? Person 1: The skunk will have to get used to it! Weblog Tuesday 20th July 2004 [Webmaster comments & rants about Manchester United or anything else]

Oh No Not That! This is the time of year when I have my radio/TV turned off for a week or two. Why? Golf. I'd rather watch two snails playing hide and seek than watch golf. Silly men in silly clothes playing a silly game. Weblog Thursday 15th July 2004 [Webmaster comments & rants about Manchester United or anything else]

We're All Doomed Here's a guest rant from my brother... Nice to know United don't need Rooney. I wonder what Sir Bobby Charlton has been smoking recently. Looks like all the loons on the phone-ins are in agreement too, "we'll get our title back" and "we don't need Rooney". (Fergie will still persist with one up front whoever we have or don't have, so I shouldn't be too bothered I guess). And of course United have more important things to think about than a football team, there's all that merchandise to shift first. Me thinks United are in for a shocker this season. And who's replacing Keane again? Still, never mind we've got Ferdinand back. Hooray! We're saved, all hail Ferdinand, etc, etc. We're doomed aren't we? Cheers, -Martin Weblog Tuesday 13th July 2004 [Webmaster comments & rants about Manchester United or anything else]

Excuses By SAF The article below (click on the link for the full story) speaks for itself, but it is complete bollocks. The reason United didn't win the Premier League last season was because SAF (Someone who Always Fecks about with the team) played weakened teams in crucial games during a crucial period last seson. End of story. ---- FERGUSON blames Ferdinand suspension for poor Manchester United ... Canada.com - Canada MANCHESTER, England (AP) - Manchester United manager Sir Alex Ferguson has blamed the club's disappointing season on the suspension of defender Rio Ferdinand. ... ---- This also proves that I have my finger on the pulse of the world's press! Weblog Thursday 8th July 2004 [Webmaster comments & rants about Manchester United or anything else]

Rooney Deal Unlikely Apparently Manchester United have started work on a £45 million stadium redevelopment but will not receive the official go-ahead for the 7,500 seat extension to the North Stand until the end of the year. With investment in the stadium, and firm statements from the board that the club will not make any more major summer signings, it is likely to end speculation that Everton's Wayne Rooney is heading to Old Trafford. Anyway, how many fecking forwards do we need! Having said that, he doesn't fall over a lot does he? Weblog Tuesday 6th July 2004 [Webmaster comments & rants about Manchester United or anything else]

Pitch Invader Makes My Night Did you all see that hilarious minute from last night's Euro 2004 final, when a guy runs on the pitch, throughs a flag at someone and runs full speed into the net followed by a mob of security people. And they showed a slow motion replay. Fantastic. So what you say. The point is this: This would not have been shown in Britain if the BBC, ITV or SKY were in charge of the coverage. The TV coverage for Euro 2004 was generally piss poor but this makes up for it. Well done Portugese Director. Oppressive Britain.....learn a lesson on how to have some fun! Weblog Monday 5th July 2004 [Webmaster comments & rants about Manchester United or anything else]

Are You Alive Out There! And can you communicate! Why is no-one using the message board or forum or whatever you want to call it? Are you all dumb? Do you not have anything to say on anything? If you don't use it I'll get it taken off. Why should I pay good money to have this facility if you don't use it. If you don't want it, use the message board/forum to tell me. Now there's a way to get you to go on it. Having listened to the radio the last few days, there must be a few mindless morons amongst you who want to spout on about something. Unlike me with my sensible, intellectual and polite offerings of course. Weblog Thursday 1st July 2004 [Webmaster comments & rants about Manchester United or anything else]

Don't forget, the new blog is now at RedRawSounds.net, so go there now to read/listen and post your comments.

You can also have fun with our archive material;